This summer my dermatologist startled me with two statement. 1) "You have remarkably few wrinkles for someone your age," and 2) "This condition is usually seen in little old ladies in third world countries." You're probably wondering what this has to do with writing about now. You'll see... I hope. But back to statement #1. Now, my dermatologist probably only knows about the Beatles because her mother told her about them, and wrinkles are probably about a decade away for her, but this statement threw me for a loop. After I left the doctor's office and returned to my writing, her words lingered in my mind. I thought about how her simple statement had raised such an emotional reaction in me. I quickly telephone-polled several women for their thoughts. My sister, who is two years older than I, took the words as a compliment. My mother at 80 took them as a compliment as well. My friend laughed and said compared to the saggy, baggy elephant I did have remarkably few wrinkles. (We're no longer friends, btw.) And my daughter just stared at me and shrugged, but she's sixteen and often has nothing to say.

I, however, saw the wrinkle-free doctor's face and heard her tone of voice. She thought my wrinkle quota should have been much higher. When I questioned her, I discovered she thought I was much older than I really am. Now other women might have left the doctor's office and made an appointment for a makeover at the cosmetic counter, or set up an appointment with a younger and hipper hair stylist, or might even have run right off on a shopping spree at Macy's, but not I. I am a WRITER. I went home and thought about dialogue. I thought about how difficult it is to get the right tone sometimes. I read some of my work and wondered if I'd put the right words on paper. I revised two chapters of dialogue. I tried to put more vinegar in my insults and more emotion in my love scenes. I also wrote down my dermatologist's words on a card to remind me that it's not just what you say, but HOW you say it. I was reminded that the listener is half the conversation. I examined my dialogue for listener response. What are the other scene characters doing while the speaker is prosing on? Writers try to convey a certain specific message to the reader, and it's darned difficult sometimes. It may even cause wrinkles.

Now, on to point #2! What I have in common with little old ladies in third world countries is a condition called Erythema ab igne. Those little old ladies (who have lots of wrinkles, I'm sure) have this exotic sounding skin condition from sitting too close to their fires. Now, I'm not sitting too close to any fires. And I'm not that old -- really. But I do expose myself to a heat source on a regular basis -- my laptop. Yep! I have Erythema ab igne on my leg because I'm a WRITER. And my laptop gets pretty warm. And it's on my lap all the time. I'm not a desk person. I'd never have written a single book if I'd had to use a desktop computer. I like to move around. I like to be with the family in the living room or kitchen or on the patio. I write in the car and sitting in bed. So I thought I'd just pass on this warning to laptop users... keep the darn thing on a heat shield. If you're interested in more information about this condition, here are a couple of websites:

http://www.emedicine.com/derm/topic130.htm

http://www.fpnotebook.com/DER43.htm

So writing has hazards. Carpal tunnel syndrome, wrinkles, Erythema ab igne, stress caused by rejection and reviews, and wondering if the words are just right. I wonder why we do it??